Reading is Fun!

After reading James and the Troublesome Trucks or Percy Covered in Chocolate for the millionth time, sometimes I need a little break. That's when this former English major drags out her dog-eared, espresso stained, worn and battered second edition of (drumroll please) The Norton Anthology of Modern Poetry. Love, love, love this book. All 1865 pages. I don't have my college diploma, my parents have that (as well they should, they paid for it!) but I have this book. If you think you're not into poetry, read Amanda Barker by Edgar Lee Masters:

Henry got me with child,
Knowing that I could not bring forth life
Without losing my own.
In my youth therefore I entered the portals of dust.
Traveler, it is believed in the village where I lived
That Henry loved me with a husband's love,
But I proclaim from the dust
That he slew me to gratify his hatred.

In just these eight lines Miss Amanda becomes a real person. I can hear her voice. I know what she looks like. I can see her spirit leaning against her gravestone telling her story to anyone who passes by.

Class dismissed for now. It seems that little star has fallen out of the sky and Dora must get her back to her friend the moon. Rapidamente!

First Day of School

This is my oldest pup. Last Monday was his first day of kindergarten. He was so excited that school was finally starting. He got up at 5 o'clock that morning and was ready to go. 5:oo. In the morning. 5. So I got everyone dressed and fed, then loaded up his school supplies, including the 32 crayons that had to have his name written on each one. And off we went . No tears or tantrums. My little boy. My firstborn son.

The next morning he hid under the coffee table screaming, "I AM NEVER GOING TO SCHOOL AGAIN!" But we won't talk about that.

Best One-Liners

I was looking through my saved text messages the other day and came across some interesting/funny/peculiar one-liners. Enjoy!

Scared to eat breakfast.

I am not looking at dirty webcams!

School. Smooth like chocolate. No, a chocolate bar with nuts.

Do you pay for texting?

Great Wraps. I'm bad.

Got money.

My favorite is the first one. It's from my sister and if I remember correctly she was texting me from IHOP. Which, if you ask me, is not the best place to be when you are scared of breakfast.

Splurge!

Don't judge me! I've lost 14lbs. since Mother's Day so I thought I deserved a little treat. My husband was at work, the kids were at their grandparents house and I didn't have to share! And it doesn't really count if I'm splurging on diet cookies does it? I had already eaten 3 packages before I noticed the warning at the end of the ingredients list. Let's just say I was glad I was home. Ahem. Ok. Bye.

Notes on Bristol

As an Elliott Sadler fan I haven't come to expect much this season. He finished 29th which was better than how he was running most of the race (around 33rd).
At one point during the race he said he had "no front grip" at all but he also said that this was the "best car they've had in awhile" (which is really sad) and that it has been "fun to drive." He sounded upbeat and certainly not as frustrated with his crew as he was a couple of races ago. I sure miss seeing him in that 38 car. Mmmmmm. M&Ms.
Loved the Tylenol Rapid Release commercial where Elliott thought it was pronounced Rabbit Release. So funny! And was it Jimmy Johnson that looked at Elliott and enunciated "rap-id, rap-id?" Ha!
Did not love the Tony Stewart armpit commercial. Ugh.
Oh, and the Wendy's commercial where everyone is blindly jumping into the hole in ground? Very creepy. I imagine CEOs sitting in a Wendy's boardroom saying "That would be a great commercial!" and the 34 year old woman with 2 kids and 2 dogs and drives a minivan bringing them coffee is like " huh?"
Carl Edwards takes the win and we're in California next week.

Dear Raccoon

I just wanted to tell you that Howard and I had a great time playing around with you the other night. You didn't seem to enjoy playing chase as much as we did though. Maybe you were just tired? I suppose that's why in the middle of our game you decided to take a nap? Boy, we must have really wore you out! You didn't even wake up when mommy picked you up with a shovel. Anyway, we haven't seen you around lately and we were wondering if we did something to offend you? We miss you. Please come back!

Love, Lexie

About Me

I'm slowly working my way towards a "100 things about me" list but at the rate I'm going, you'll have to check back in about 5 more years for the the complete list!

1. I don't know if it's because I'm a mom, or a "household manager," or a former waitress, but after finishing a meal at a restaurant I tend to clean up the table as much as a I can.

2. I don't know if I can explain this properly but I like for all the light switches in a room to be in the right order. The on position is up and the off position is down. Not the other way around.

3. While driving on a 2 lane highway, I get offended when someone passes me. It makes me feel like they're criticizing my driving skills.

4. I like to deconstruct candy bars. Especially snickers. I first eat the outside chocolate, then the bottom layer, and then the peanut/caramel layer.

5. I went through a phase where I never licked envelopes. I didn't want the government to have access to my DNA. Then I wised up. They probably already have it. "They" are very sneaky.

6. I like to organize the shopping carts that are outside in a cart corral.


7. I don't really like to touch food with my fingers while eating. It makes me feel, I don't know, greasy or messy or something. Ugh. Even when I eat pizza I use a knife and fork.

8. After I read a book, it takes me awhile to start a new one. Particularly if it was a good book. I have to take time to mourn the loss of the characters.

9. I've really tried to like coffee--black, no sugar, no cream. It smells so good and seems like the grown up thing to do. But I just don't like it. Now add equal parts milk and a couple of ounces of flavored syrup and serve it over ice, that's another story.

10. I've jumped into the 21st century by paying bills online but I still opt to have my bills sent to me by mail. I'm not ready to go completely paperless.

11. This may be un-American of me but I don't like going to the movies. Unless it's a matinee and the theater is fairly empty. I don't like sitting next to strangers, sharing an armrest, the collective laughter and sniffles, the spontaneous applause, and the crinkling of wrappers during quiet moments. Yep. I'll stick to matinees.

12. Onions make me cry. Big time. I can't cut an onion without stopping halfway, blindly throwing my knife down, and running around the kitchen fanning my eyes to make them stop stinging and tearing up. It's like I just got finished watching Titanic. I don't know how Rachel Ray does it.

13. Whenever I forget to put out the trash on trash day--I get really mad at myself. I feel like I'm throwing away money by paying for trash service and then not giving them the trash to pick up.

14. My husband and I have had some rocky times in our marriage. At one point, I didn't wear my wedding ring for a year. That man can make me spit nails sometimes.

15. I have a crush on Tom Berenger. I think I've seen the movie Platoon 4,361 times.

16. My fingernail on my middle finger on my left hand is the worst fingernail in the world. It constantly splits right in the middle.

17. I find it quite enjoyable to type the words 'although' and 'decided'.

18. My college diploma says that I minored in Secondary Education but guess what? There's no such thing. When I filled out my paperwork to have the diploma printed up, I couldn't think of the correct term 'Teacher Education' so I put down Secondary Ed instead. I kind of thought that UALR would correct it. They didn't. If I had known that I could've written down anything, I would have written that I had minored in Occupational Superhero Skills. And then showed up in a Wonder Wonder costume.