Back from Christmas vacation! Did anyone miss me? Don't answer that.
For today's edition of Nascar Monday, you get to spend 48 seconds looking at a tattoo that I got to look at for 3 hours back in November. It's a tattoo paying homage to the late Dale Earnhardt. When you're getting a tattoo of an athlete's number, it's always a good idea to make sure that they will always have that number. Isn't that right Jr. fans?
Countdown to Daytona: 7 weeks.
Luke 2:1-14
Caesar Augustus, the Roman Emperor, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the nation. Everyone was required to return to his ancestral home for this registration. And because Joseph was a member of the royal line, he had to go to Bethlehem, King David's ancient home--journeying there from the Galilean village of Nazareth. He took with him Mary, his fiancee, who was pregnant by this time. And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born; and she gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the village inn.
That night some shepherds were in the fields outside the village, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly an angel appeared among them, and the landscape shone bright with the glory of the Lord. They were badly frightened, but the angel reassured them. "Don't be afraid!" he said. "I bring you the most joyful news ever announced, and it is for everyone! The Saviour--a baby wrapped in a blanket, lying in a manger--has been born tonight in Bethlehem!"
Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others--the armies of heaven--praising God: "Glory to God in the highest and peace to his people on earth!"
Please welcome back to the Home of the Lazy Dog... W.H. Auden, everybody. Very nice to see you again, Mr. Auden. May I call you Wystan Hugh? No? Very well, then. Let's get on with the show. Reading Epitaph on a Tyrant certainly calls to mind political figures throughout time but it also shows that for everything that we do there is a consequence. Our actions affect those around us, which in turn, affect those around them. Or something like that. Anyway, this poem also reminds me of what I'm like when I don't get enough sleep and what WD is like when he doesn't get enough food. And when those 2 things happen in one week, look out. It's been one of those weeks hasn't it WD?
Epitaph of a Tyrant by W.H. Auden
My dearest Sidney,
I just had to put permanent marker to rock and let the world know that I love you. But not 4ever. Not always. Oh, no, our love will end. I just don't know when. Tomorrow? Next month? In 2012? Don't get your hopes up, girlfriend. Live in the moment.
Temporarily yours,
David
We drove up to Mt. Nebo a couple of weeks ago, intent on doing some hiking, but the weather was not very cooperative. It was extremely foggy so I didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked. But I just had to take the picture (above) of some of the graffiti found on top of the mountain. I thought it was hilarious. WD? Not so much. The gift shop was nice and was being visited by an old world Santa. I thought he looked an awful lot like Albus Dumbledore and I resisted the urge to ask him to explain Elder wands and Horcruxes. Maybe, when I drop Big pup off at school, I'll just ask one of the kids there to explain it to me.
Big pup made this in school last week. I had to ask him what each picture was because, well, they all looked like pictures of dogs or cats to me.
A-airplane
B-book, baby
C-cat
D-dog
E-egg
F-four
G-girl
H-hand
I-igloo
J-jar of jam
K-cast
L-upside down legs
M-man
N-nest
O-one
P-people
Q-
R-race car
S-scribble
T-two, three, tower
U-umbrella
V-vase
W-water, whale
X-x ray
Y-yarn
Z-z, zero
After both pups having colds over the weekend, Little pup now has pinkeye. Since I took this picture, it has spread to his left eye too. He looks pretty rough. He's been waking up every hour crying because he can't open his eyes, so I'll get a warm washcloth for him and he'll go back to sleep. Wait. Did someone say sleep? What's that and where can I get some?
Before each race, the drivers do a lap in the back of a truck, waving to all the fans. All the fans wave back. That's nice. And when Jeff Gordon makes his way around the track, you can hear a wave of boos. That's nice, too. At least he waves. At least he acknowledges the thousands of people who paid a lot of money to come and experience a nascar race.
I'm looking at you, Martin Truex Jr. Could you, maybe, for 2 minutes act like you appreciate the fans? Give us all a little wave to say thanks for the support? I know that it's probably your least favorite thing to do but do you think that I wanted to spend all night baking cookies for Big pup's fall festival at school? No. I did not. But I did. Because that's my job. And the fall festival would not have been the same without my mexican wedding cookies. So you see, Martin, we all have our bad days. But if you wave, we will all wave back.
Countdown to Daytona: 9 weeks.
This is the story of 2 young girls who both dreamed of escaping their small, working class town. And while both were desperate to get out, the paths they chose to take were very different. Only one succeeded.
This is Carolyn Forche's As Children Together
Should I be worried that the school that spells Santa Claus with an e is the same school that's teaching Big pup how to read and spell?
My favorite John Grisham novel is The Runaway Jury. So when I received my summons in the mail last month I had visions of "Juror #2" dancing around in my head. For one person to have that much influence and power over a verdict is really exciting. And to put bad guys in jail and give their victims victory would be very satisfying.
And maybe I'm already secretly being watched by jury consultants. Maybe that toothless old man that came up to me and Little pup in Walmart the other day and told me that "there's nothin' prettier than a momma pushing her baby in a buggy" was actually a jury expert. Maybe when the guy in Subway asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said "the works" and he said "banana peppers and jalapenos?" and I said "no" because THE WORKS DOES NOT INCLUDE BANANA PEPPERS AND JALAPENOS and he smirked and said "Ah ha" well, maybe that was a test. And maybe there were hidden photographers everywhere last week when I was supposed to be picking up a pizza for WD and the pups, but I stopped at Sonic first for a chocolate shake then went into Atwoods and looked at baby ducks until WD called wondering what was taking me so long.
Hmmmm. Maybe.
I was looking through some pictures yesterday and found this one tucked into the folder of shame. It was right next to a particularly embarrassing picture of WD that I will share when he makes me really, really mad. Be nice, WD. But as for this picture, this is what Little pup had for breakfast the morning after Halloween. Does that make me a bad mother? Just look at all those empty calories. And I don't even want to know the amount of sugar in that bowl. But how can I say no to Little pup? Especially when he tells me every day, "Mommy, I love every inch of you." Could you say no to that? I didn't think so.
Wait...What's this?...Why Elliott Sadler does sell snuggle fabric softener.
Countdown to Daytona: 10 weeks
If you've ever read Oprah's magazine, then the title above will ring a bell. It's the title of a recurring column where she writes what she knows for sure about love, fullfillness, inhibitions, wisdom, intellectual freedom, etc. And while I'm not as eloquent as Oprah, nor are my topics as lofty as hers, here are a few things that I know for sure:
I know that men are incapable of multi-tasking.
I know that when a toddler says yes he means no, and when he says no he means yes.
I know that it's not a good idea to have Taco Bell past 10 p.m. when you're over the age of 30.
I know that you should never watch an episode of The Wonder Years when you have pms.
I know that it will rain the day after you wash your car and that your toddler's diaper will leak the day after you wash sheets.
I know that Oprah could buy and sell me for copyright infringement.
We have another black eye here at the Home of the Lazy Dog. Big pup ran into the entertainment center and his right eye is bruised and a little puffy. Thankfully, it's not as bad as the time he fell off the bouncing bull. And then last night, Big pup and Little pup were allegedly playing together on the bed and allegedly they were both pushing each other and allegedly Big pup pushed Little pup and allegedly Little pup fell backwards onto the bed then to the floor. Allegedly. All I know is by the time I got in there Little pup was lying on the floor crying and WD was questioning Big pup on his whereabouts on the night of December 4 at approximately 6:04 p.m.
I think I'm about ready to wrap them both in bubble wrap and never let them leave the house.
When I was a kid my parents didn't have a vcr or cable television. So when shows like How the Grinch Stole Christmas or The Wizard of Oz came on, it was quite an event in our house. We couldn't record it to watch it over and over, nor could we catch it on a TBS week long marathon. Back then, if you missed it, you were just out of luck. You had to wait a whole year to see it again. It was a big deal in our family. Momma would either make popcorn or fried pies. Or sometimes she would make cookies--either oatmeal or snickerdoodles--and Angie and I would get to lick the beaters.
So when A Charlie Brown Christmas came on TV last night, I got out the ingredients and my electric mixer and the boys helped me make some snickerdoodles. And some memories of their own.
Big pup: Can I have one of those? (pointing to the beaters on the mixer)
Me: Well, if you're not worried about salmonella, you can.
Big pup: I'm not!
Little pup: I'm not, either!
Me: Okay, go ahead.
1/2 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
cinnamon-sugar
In a mixing bowl beat the butter with a mixer for 30 seconds. Add the cup of sugar and baking soda. Beat till combined. Beat in egg and vanilla till combined. Then beat in flour till combined. Cover and chill for 1 hour.
Shape dough into 1 inch balls and roll balls in cinnamon-sugar to coat. Place 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake in a 375 degree oven for 10 minutes. Let cool. But not too much. They're best warm.
Would you buy country crock butter if Elliott Sadler told you to? No? Snuggle fabric softener? Maybe?
Countdown to Daytona: 11 weeks.
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